{God's Miracle}

He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

Most of you know that I am a pretty personal person. I tend to not share personal struggles because I like to turn to husband, my brothers and sisters in Christ and God alone to help deliver me in those times. 

We have just announced our exciting news about our second child arriving August of this year. What we haven't shared is our journey that we have been on over the last several months that has brought us to this day and why our hearts are overwhelmed with peace, joy and grace. So, we are going to take you back...

May 2013 I went in for my annual pap, 3 months after having Emma. A week later I got a call from my doctor letting me know that there were some abnormal cells that came back with the results. She scheduled me to come back in a week to have a coloscopy so they could get a better idea of what was going on.

1 day before my 27th birthday, they called to let me know that the found a large amount of pre-cancerous cells across 2 of the 6 sample areas of my cervix that they tested. With that being said, I was diagnosed with CIN III, which is severe dysplasia, showing abnormal cells in more than 2/3 of the lining of my cervix. They then walked me through the next steps....

August 6th I went in for my LEEP procedure where they would remove about 1/3 of my cervix. Afterwards the nurse had me wait in the room for the doctor to return. I was nauseous, crying and so anxious to have a conversation with him. We talked for about 10 minutes. He let me know that the results would be back in a couple weeks, that they removed quite a bit of area surrounding the places the cells were most concentrated to ensure they got it all. Then he went into what the future may look like based on the results.

They would let me know if they believed to have gotten all the cells based on the biopsy of the tissue removed. If it looked as though they got it all, we would have a follow up appointment in one month to check my healing and 3 months later to test again. If it showed to be present at the follow-up appointment, we would want to talk about performing a hysterectomy to remove the issue all together and prevent my body from developing full blown cervical cancer. He let me know that it was a blessing to have Emma but that another child just might not be in the cards for us. My heart sank. I cried and he sat quietly with his hand on my knee letting me know we would cross that bridge when we got there.

A couple weeks later, they let me know that they were confident the got all of the cells they needed and the healthy tissue surrounding the abnormalities all showed to be normal. We scheduled to appointment for the follow-up for December 6th. (coincidentally the exact date I was put on bed rest with Emma the previous year).

The next few months Bryan and I kept this very private - only sharing with our immediate family and embarking on a personal journey of finding peace about our circumstances and building our relationship with God. Over those months we had people asking when we were thinking about having another baby - as if it were that easy. "You guys are such great parents, aren't you having another?" "How close do you want your kids?" "When are you popping out another one?" *sigh...*

I understand that people were just showing excitement, but it was times like that I wished people would be more sensitive to struggles that may be happening behind closed doors. My heart would sink and it would take everything inside of me not to cry in that moment because it was not something that we, or anyone for that matter is guaranteed. My response was simply, "God willing".  I have many friends who have gone through long trials trying to have a baby, others who have been told they never will. I know that they experience this same silent battle, so with this opportunity I have, as you read this, may your heart be changed and if you say things like that, be mindful that getting pregnant is not as easy as it sounds or may have been for you personally. That seemingly harmless question could add salt to a wound that is already throbbing each day and night.

It wasn't until November that I could honestly say that I had made my peace. That I had given it all to God and let my heart be freed. My prayer was this. "Lord, if it is your will for me to bear another child, thank you, thank you, thank you.... if it is not, then I understand and I thank you for Emma and the gift of motherhood. Lord, heal my body. For myself, my family and Your glory. You are good, You are Love and You are the Lord of our lives. Amen."

The week before my tests, Bryan was out of town on business. Emma and I went to church that Sunday with anxious hearts, hiding this anxiety still from everyone around us. After the service, Pastor Bob closed with an invitation for us to pray with the person next to us. It was on this day I had met a new friend - Janell, who began talking with me and asking what she could pray for me about. My heart leaped, and without thinking I shared my heart with her. Letting her know my fears of never having another child, telling her about the surgeries and the anxiety I had about the unknown and without skipping a beat she pulled me in, placed her hand on me and began to pray for me in a way I had never been prayed for before. She proclaimed healing, she called out to God on my behalf - that He would be glorified through this experience. She said, "In Jesus name I command that her body be healed, that the doctors look at the results in awe, that they can find no sign of anything ever being wrong. That she be able to have more children in Your name and that Your goodness and love be shown to all around. Let her be a vessel of truth, a walking miracle, because You, God are able, You are bigger than all of this and we know that You will deliver her." She prayed like this over me for about 10 minutes. I was in tears, I could feel God flowing over me like I had never experienced in my life. I was changed. I had peace. I knew that He was with me.

December 6th came and I walked into the doctors office that day with a calm heart and a peaceful spirit. They let me know that they would have the results for me in a couple weeks.

December 23rd, my phone rang and I saw it was my doctor. My heart skipped a beat, I took a deep breath and answered. He went on to tell me, "I am so happy to tell you that everything came back completely normal. It looks as though nothing was ever wrong. You have healed beautifully and there is no trace of pre-cancerous cells. If you and your husband are wanting to have more children, you may want to start sooner, rather than later while your levels are looking like this!" I hung up the phone and fell to the floor in tears. My doctor just spoke the exact words that Janell had prayed over me. GLORY TO GOD! I called Bryan to tell him the news and he was just as emotional as me. 

Fast forward to New Years Eve, we were having a quite evening at home, Emma was down for bed and I told Bryan I was really craving Mexican food. He didn't say it then, but he had a feeling I would be picking up a pregnancy test. I don't CRAVE Mexican food. Except when I was pregnant with Emma. I got home and he smiled when he saw the test, he said "I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO GET ONE." We smiled and I went to take it - if I can be transparent, I was expecting a big fat negative. My heart was just so happy with all that had taken place in the week before that I figured this was just my mind getting ahead of me. We hadn't even talked about when we were going to start trying, so it was more or less just so that I could put my mind to rest. Minutes later I came busting out of the bedroom, slid across the wood floor in the kitchen, eyes as big as saucers and screamed "BRYAN!". Bryan said "WHAT?!" with a look of pure confusion. And I said, "IT'S POSITIVE!" He couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe it and I jumped into his arms and began to sob. We took another test an hour later to confirm. Come to find out, I was already pregnant the day I went to see my doctor. God had His plan in motion before I could even react or try to do anything myself. This was His way of telling me, "My daughter, I told you that you had nothing to worry about. I've got this."

This is the Power of God. Just one of many miracles that happen every day because of His goodness. Every trial we have gone through in our lives has prepared us for a better future. In the midst of trouble, it is hard to see the end, but when you take yourself out, put God in, and rest in the truth that everything WILL work together for the good of those who LOVE HIM - you will be delivered every single time. I can do ALL things WITH God. We are looking forward to a great pregnancy and a healthy baby.   

God Bless,

The Stone's